My ideas on topics are constantly changing. I can never settle on one position for any substantial amount of time for a majority of things. It’s a continuous battle in my mind between both extremes and in the end neither position wins.
Jobs: I can never decide what I plan to do as a “career”. So many different things seem interesting. There are so many options it is overwhelming. One day I will want to be incredibly productive and pursue a career with passion. The next I will come to the conclusion I would be fine being lazy the rest of my life.
Money: First things first, I do agree with the statement money won’t make you happy. Truth be told it won’t make me sad either though. I don’t think money itself can make you happy, but it can enhance your freedom to do as you please – which could very easily lead to happiness. Again, one day money is important and deserves attention. Another day I will question what money even is, why it exists, and why it is even important to begin with.
Life decisions: For me it really comes down to two separate options. To travel or to settle down. I believe travel is the best way to grow as an individual, learn about yourself, other cultures, and have an appreciation for the world. On the other hand, starting to settle down at a younger age could have its own benefits as time goes on. Mortgages could be finished earlier, I could be younger when kids come along so I can keep up with them, and beginning a career early (If I can even choose one – see above…) gives more time to advance into higher positions.
Although these are main concerns, I have an issues making permanent decisions on just about anything. I’m sure I’m not the only one that has questioned at least the things listed above. Maybe a decision is never actually made, but the mindset we are in at specific times helps lead us blindly down a path we are unaware we are on – hopefully a good one.
Why is it that humans seem to enjoy doing things that don’t make us feel better?
I know drinking won’t make me feel better, I know eating like shit won’t make me feel better, and I know spending money won’t make me feel better. I know that working out, eating healthy, and saving/investing in things that will improve the future will make for a better lifestyle.
Yet, it is soo much easier to let myself drink, eat like shit, and spend money instead of doing the things that will be improvements. I know I’ll feel better once I get a workout in or have a good meal, but have you ever tried getting out of bed to go to the gym? It’s fucking hard!
I can’t seem to wrap my head around it. It doesn’t make any sense. I know I’ll feel better. My body wants to be healthy, but at the same time wants to be as lazy and useless as possible. It even seems to encourage destroying itself. Although, maybe it’s a battle between the mind and the body.
The body wants to be healthy. The mind wants to destroy the body. Perhaps it’s the sign of a sick mind that needs a remedy. I suppose I’ll have to figure that one out. Time to fix the brain.
This is going to sound a little crazy, but have you ever thought about death? I mean really thought about it. Not the casual acceptance of “Yeah, I’m going to die” then skip over it, but to really think about it in detail.
It fucks with your mind. I find it to be a good way of determining what to do in some situations. It can make stressful situations seem almost laughable in the bigger scheme of things. Obviously you are going to have to do certain things you don’t want to. You can’t just think about the bigger scheme of things and say “Well, paying rent doesn’t have a massive impact on my total life, why should I pay for this rent? Lets use it to go on an adventure that I’ll remember forever, but then will have nowhere to live!”
Personally it seems to help a bit when thinking about the question “what do I really want to do with my life?” It seems like everyone my age is starting to have big things happen; buying houses, new cars, getting married, having kids. Do I really want that right now? I can’t even seem to think of things I’m actually interested in, let alone decide what I’d like to do for money for the rest of my life.
So I like to imagine myself laying on my death bed in the hospital. (Here’s to hoping as many of us as possible actually die this way instead of in some freak accident.) As I’m laying there I’m thinking about all the things that mattered in my life. Was working all those extra hours worth the money? Should I have gone on that trip I always wanted? Should I have spent less time with my family and worked more to provide a better life? Should I have tried “that thing” I wanted?
If there’s something I think I would be proud to have done when I’m about to die, I want to make sure I do that. I’m still trying to figure out what I want to do in my life. I don’t think everyone really knows everything that will make them happy about their life.
Although one thing is guaranteed… Everyone’s life comes to an end. It’s our job to make the most of it.
People always mention different things when asked about what makes a relationship work. You see the quotes on Facebook and Instagram with a picture related to whatever they’re mentioning.
“Couples who work out together stay together.”
“Couples who smoke together stay together.”
“Couples who watch cat videos together stay together.”
Ok… I made the last one up, but I’m sure it’s out there. Either way they always make me laugh. I find it pretty obvious couples who have the same interests and do things together tend to have a better chance at staying together.
That’s why I mention friendship as the key to a strong relationship. Sure, there are other elements, but there is a lot more than romance in a relationship. A strong friendship is a major key *DJ Khaled voice* in a successful relationship.
Do things together. Find someone with the same interests as you. Chances are, couples who do – insert activity – together are more likely to stay together.
You don’t have to be overweight to start working out and eating healthier.
You don’t have to be visibly out of shape to have the desire to build a stronger version of yourself.
It’s okay to want to be in better shape even though there are many others that could be considered in worse shape than you.
Other people will make excuses for you to stop taking action simply because it makes them feel like they should be doing something too. “You don’t have to change your diet or work out. Do you think you’re fat? If you’re fat what does that make me?
It doesn’t make you fat, but it doesn’t make me feel like I’m developing myself either.
You don’t wait for a person to start smoking before telling them they shouldn’t be doing it. We’re told from a young age not to smoke because it’s bad for us.
Why isn’t it the same for fitness? Is it not worth looking into until you’ve reached a point that something must be done or the consequences are too severe?
Be proactive. Develop healthy eating and fitness habits. Yes, even if others don’t consider you out of shape. I’d rather start now than wait until there are consequences if I don’t. I want to feel better, inside and out.
I’m currently reading the book “The Obstacle Is The Way” by Ryan Holiday. I’m only 37% of the way according to my e-reader, but right at the start an important topic comes up when dealing with anything in life. Simple and difficult are different than easy and hard. Something can be simple in theory, yet hard when it comes down to actually doing it. A perfect example that almost everyone has dealt with is trying to get into at least decent physical shape. The theory of succeeding is quite simple – don’t eat like shit and get some damn exercise – but actually implementing and following those steps prove to be harder than we thought.
Any obstacle in our lives can be tackled if we take the time to really look at it, make a plan of some sort, then put that plan into action. Identifying the proper plan to overcome the obstacle can be either simple or difficult/complex. Usually the solution itself is quite simple. It is the implementation or following through on the action that we have problems sticking with. Are you in debt? Well, the solution is quite simple really… make and save more money than you currently are. See – not that hard to find the solution. How do we make more money or cut down our spending? That’s a fair bit harder for people to determine.
Just because something is hard to do doesn’t mean it’s impossible either. If you are really serious about anything chances are you will find a way to make it happen regardless of how hard it is. The fact that it may be hard doesn’t matter. Although, finding a way to go about tackling those tasks and finding your solution can make life a whole lot easier. This book has really started to open my eyes to how easy something really is when in our minds it can seem almost impossible to overcome. I recommend anyone read this book to gain a new perspective on how to go about doing things. I haven’t finished the book yet as noted, but I’ve already learnt so much.
Step up to life. Learn how to tackle issues. Make your dreams a reality. Books will empower you with knowledge to take control.
Sometimes there happen to be events that make you appreciate things you took for granted. Things you never noticed you really cared about until you have a shift in your mindset. A friend recently had one of those major events that can change the way you think about anything. Someone this friend knew decided that they didn’t want to be here anymore. Mental illness won.
The passing of someone you know, especially related to mental illness, can have an effect on an incredibly large amount of people. Immediate family and friends would typically have the most to think about and the biggest shift in mindset. That shift then has an effect on those they interact with. It is a domino effect of shifting mindsets.
In my case these specific shifts normally make me realise how quickly anyone’s whole world can change.When it isn’t directly related to you suddenly sunny days seem much nicer, the grass seems greener, and normal everyday things mean the world to you. This time it’s a new found appreciation for the goodbye kiss. Every day whenever Hayley and I are leaving each other for work we always make sure to kiss each other goodbye. Or at least I make sure (I get mad at her if she doesn’t wake me up to give me a kiss goodbye at 6am).
Because in the end… you never know if that goodbye kiss will be the last one.